Selena 菲. Powered by Blogger.

>> Wednesday, September 22, 2010

someone left me a message on my facebook account. ask me to show my picture. dont you understand, if i want to show you my pictures, i dont need you to ask me to show the picture, i'll show it by myself.

i know, i do, some of you maybe curios, why im hiding my identity. i do it with purpose, for sure. so, let me tell you why, so after this, you do not need to ask me why i did what i did.

as i opened my eyes on 23 march, i was grew up into a happy family, which is i proud to tell my friends they're my lovely family. but as someone said, happiness wont last longer, when i was 13, i discovered my dad was cheating behind my mum which leads me to tell my mum.

what shocking me more is, my mum told me that she already knew that few months before i tell her. since then, arguing being our part of life. for years, my mum asking for divorce but still my dad wont let her go, instead he just ignoring us. i still remember there's one day, as usual my dad shouting over my mum, i dont clearly remember what my mom said towards my dad till makes my dad feel angry and he almost slap my mum, but then he was stopped by me, i was holding his leg and begging him to stop it.

i know my mum cant hold it back much longer, i know how suffered she was, i can see it through her pretty sleepy eyes, so then she busying her self with working and hanging out with other guys. and my dad, i barely meet him, i dont know where he stay and what he did, and yes its tear me apart, coz i was close with my dad back years. since then i learned to keep all my great result by myself, to just keep quiet when i was having a high fever, to eat dinner alone and so on.

i feel like i was die then alive, die then alive continuously everyday. every second, i pray to Jesus to make me die so then no one knows my existence. but clearly jesus didnt make it come true.

im dealing with my heartache with taking drugs, be friends with wrong accompany, i know its brings me more harm to myself but i know who cares about me, i can do anything what i want. i still can remember the day before spm, i was in the club, dancing like mad and just went back home after 4am.

as a result i did not score well in my spm, and i planned to not pursuing my studies anymore. after spm, finally my dad filed a divorced and on 7 june, my parents officially divorced. i thought it was finally over, but then the other problems come out. since i am the only child, so both of them wants to taking care of me.they make me sick, i hate them so much, i even cursed on them so much.

when i turned 18, i went to taylor university to pursuing my studies, which i think its may be the bestest way for us. i stop taking drugs fortunately im not addicted, so i can do it by my own. i dont have much friends there, i often skipped my class till finally i drop out my college.

i am currently stay with my dad and helping him to run his company since my mum married with some new guy that i didnt even know and not interested to know who he is.

theres too many things happened in my life, and some if them i wouldnt and dont want to remember. i praised to God, i wasnt in the wrong paths for too long and he bring me back to the right path again, and i was so thankful, i wasnt the worst human being alive.

Hallelujah.


p/s : sometimes, i need to express myself in this blog. i feel comfortable to stay anon, so then i can write whatever i want to write. understand me, pls.

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selena fei yang pemurah lagi baik hati

>> Tuesday, September 21, 2010

hollllaaaaa,

hari ni, kawan i msg i mcm nie, takdelah betul2 macam ni, tp hmpir2 mcm nie gaklah,

"weyh, lu bikin gua panas!" <-- ok, i mcm dah agak cuak sikit baca msg nie, i takut gak lah i ade betul2 buat salah kan.

then i reply,

"asal???" <-- ha, siap 3 tanda soal, cuak punya pasal. ;p

then around 5 minutes macam tu br dia nak reply, dia mmg saja  bikin gua cuak!

"kau hari tu takde buat opn house kan, tak kira, aku nak kau belanja aku gak makan hari ni, kat chillis, kau bukan main melantak kau rumah aku hari ni, aku tgh kering dowh"

siot punya mamat, apake bangang dia nie, i bukannya sambut hari raya tu nak buat open house nak berbagai pe jadah. dah tu nak minta belanja cakap lah awal2, bikin gua gelabah puyuh sorng2 je. hahahha. nk tau pe i reply??

"haa, belanja?? pe tu? aku tak pernah dgr pun perkataan tu"

LOL! padan muka hang!


psst ;; mesti kawan aku nie tgh butt hurt



takdelah, i kan baik, i belanja gak lah dia, belanja mamak, roti kosong sudah. =.=

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invisible autoplay background music

>> Thursday, September 16, 2010

want an invisible autoplay background music like mine??? just leave your comments with the title of the song that you wanted. i'll reply you with the codes.

p/s: i just can make one song for one music player. & its REPEATED, so it is strongly not recommended for those who feels annoy easily.

p/s/s: please do not request for super awkward songs, i mean songs that would difficult me to find it. ;)


turn your speaker on, and enjoy this song.


Happy – Leona Lewis Music Code and Lyrics Code

Verse 1:
Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can’t have everything
Don’t you take chances
Might feel the pain
Don’t you love in vain
Cause love won’t set you free
I can’t stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

Chorus:
So what if it hurts me?
So what if i break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i’m just trying to be happy, yeah
Just wanna be happy, yeah

Verse 2:
Holding on tightly
Just can’t let it go
Just trying to play my role
Slowly disappear, ohh
But all these days, they feel like they’re the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me out of here
I can’t stand by your side, ohh no
And watch this life pass me by, pass me by

Chorus:
So what if it hurts me?
So what if i break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i’m just trying to be happy, ohh, happy, ohh

Bridge:
So any turns that i can’t see,
I’ll count on a stranger on this road
But don’t say victim
Don’t say anything

Chorus:
So what if it hurts me?
So what if i break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me

Outro:
I just wanna be happy
Ohh, yeah, happy, ohh, happy
I just wanna be, ohh
I just wanna be happy
Ohh, happy

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